You did if you do nothing to stop them!

Of course I log onto my computer this morning and the first two stories I see are about two people being bullied online.  The first young lady had been targeted because a photo of her had gone viral.  She, dressed in a Tomb Raider’s Halloween costume, found comments under the photo calling her “Fridge Raider.” But, she didn’t just “take” it – she did something about it.

Next story:  A cute little teenager stumbles across a page on Facebook called “theHotsandtheNots” where photos of her friends had been posted with awful comments attached to each.  She proceeded to make positive comments on every person’s photo under the NOTS section of the horrible page.  Once she’d done that, the bullies then came after her.  Shortly after, she finds a photo of her on the NOTS page, but did that stop this cutie?  Nope.  She went straight to Facebook and asked them to take the page down because it was harassing and bullying others.  The page has “temporarily” been removed.

A hospital spokesperson who was in the news piece about the NOTS page, says that they have children admitted into the hospital on a regular basis because of this kind of bullying.  We all read the paper and we look at the news daily only to find that yet another teen somewhere has hung themselves, cut themselves, overdosed on pills, and engaged in too many other horrible acts to name … but they did it to escape the pressure of some bully.

So, where do I start?  Do you all even have to wonder?  Me, “THE GOOD MOMMIES” Mommy – I’m starting with parenting.  It all goes back to parenting, and it always will begin with parenting, in my book.  If you’ve checked out “THE GOOD MOMMIES’ GUIDE TO RAISING (ALMOST) PERFECT DAUGHTERS” trailer…

notice that I say, “I looked around the world, and what I saw, I knew I didn’t want my daughters to BECOME.  I wanted more for my daughters.  I wanted more from my daughters.  I wanted the best for my daughters and I wanted THE BEST daughters.”  All true.

Girls can be awfully cruel and mean, and even more hurtful than a boy’s fist to a chin any day. I grew up witnessing these cruelties in school, and times haven’t gotten much better – in fact, they’ve gotten progressively worse.  So, factor the world wide web into this and you have just opened CANDYLAND to all the bullies of the world, who have a great big sweet-tooth for hurting others.  And the gift that the internet keeps on giving, is more of these bullies; and being the cowards that they are, they sit behind the keyboards of their computers and their smartphones and they attack innocent people … innocent CHILDREN!  You can’t even wrap your mind around how much the mere thought of this upsets me.

I have beautiful, sweet, loving and kind daughters who have never been bullied (and thank GOD, because I would not have been as nice as I’ve seen some moms, so kudos to them).  But it just peeves me to see parents of these little monsters stand by, sometimes laughing, enjoying, and in some cases, even encouraging their kids to engage in this type of behavior – while they do nothing!  That’s scary.  If we want to raise decent human beings who will one day become POSITIVE, productive members of society, we need to start teaching them better, and that teaching starts at home (or at least it should).  We have enough of these not-so-nice kids in the world, who are here just taking up space, infringing on the rights of all the decent kids who have grand potential to offer more to society.  We need to ask ourselves one question – why are they allowed to continue to traumatize the innocent? This is not OK!

I know you all wonder why I push my parenting guide the way I do.  I push this guide because I know the contents inside of it can change the world and save OUR CHILDREN!  Some of you just walk away when you see parenting topics because you may not be a parent, or your kids may be all grown and gone, and you think none of this applies to you, or will ever affect you.  But the children of the world really do need you to stop and pay attention.

I remember as a student, boarding a bus after school one day, noticing an elderly woman (someone’s grandmother, no doubt) sitting on the bus, close to the back.  There was a pack of high school kids (all who were old enough to know better) verbally attacking this woman, until she was brought to tears.  They called her names and one of them even spit on her shoe.  All I could think as I headed to the bus driver to bring it to his attention, was that this was someone’s grandmother.  And it could easily have been my grandmother, who I loved so very much.  The pain I felt for this woman changed me and I knew in that moment, that I would be a protector and advocate for people when I became an adult.  When I became a Mom, it turned into more of protecting children, and I am fiercely protective of children.  ALL of them, not just mine.

BULLYING can be stopped.  It can be eradicated altogether, but only when we all stand up against it.  All of us, not just a few of us … all of us have to work together on this.  We can’t laugh when some nut posts an unfavorable picture of someone on the internet and then join in the negative banter.  We can’t do that.  We can’t mock people just because they look differently from our own personal definition of “normal.” We can’t do that, either.

Parents, you need to really step up and know what your children are engaging in online.  Stop being “too busy” to monitor the happenings in your house and in the heads of your kids. Don’t be afraid to ask for your child’s social media passwords.  Be brave enough to let them know that you are on top of what they are doing and the kind of behavior they are engaging in online.  Lastly, be firm in letting them know what you expect of them and how you expect them to treat others, on and off line. Take the time to teach your kids better.   We are raising a nation of monsters and unless we start to take responsibility and stop turning a blind eye to all that’s going on right under our noses, this world will be safe for no one!

And, if you’re not a parent and you think this won’t affect you, think about that grandmother I mentioned on that bus.  One day, if you’re blessed enough to live that long, you, too will be an elderly person and GOD forbid you have to walk out into the world, abuzz with the kinds of kids that are being raised now.

Who put bullies in charge, anyway?  I know I didn’t.  Did you?  Well, if you sit by and do nothing about this problem, you did.

Join in this conversation, because we have to start talking about how we will do our part to help get rid of the bullies of the world. And finally, we need to put that talk into action.

What part will you play in putting an end to this deadly disease called BULLYING?  Leave your comments below, they just might help the next person.


  1. Shirley Harris-Slaughter

    I grew up seeing the bullies at school and at home. Eventually I stood up to her and sent her home crying for a change. She was the only girl in a house full of boys. So I can see how she got that way. What I am seeing today is much worse. So, Nonnie, this is a subject that we should be discussing. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.


  2. Nonnie–I see this all the time. I speak up when I witness it first-hand. Now that I’m (ahem) of a certain age, I am even more vocal than ever. Simple things, such as when I am in a line at a store or at the deli, when a child is in front of me in line, and the clerk tries to wait on me first, I say, “No, this person [the child] was here first.” I am a volunteer reader in a first-grade class in an inner-city school. This year, we’re all virtual, and, of course, last year, we weren’t in the schools at all. In the first grade, I observe very little bullying. But the kids whom I read with several years ago are now in the same school but in higher grades. I was bullied in school because of my weight. Two of the kids I read to a few years ago have terrible weight problems. I have seen them be on the receiving end of bullying at the school and have spoken up as well, not only to the teacher but to the bullies themselves. Maybe, just maybe, one of those bullies will remember that some “old lady” told them how hurtful it was for her when she was young to be called names and how hurtful it is when kids call each other names. My mother always said, “Sticks and stones can hurt my bones but names will never hurt me.” She was wrong. Words cut like knives.

    When my daughter taught middle school, also in an inner-city setting, she always said the girls were the worst when it came to bullying each other. The boys were more overt, while the girls were sneakier and more back-handed about it. Social media is such a part of everything these days, too. In today’s world, I believe parents and grandparents must be vigilant about what their children are doing on social media. Parents and grandparents need to know that if their progeny are sharing lewd photos on social media, those kids can be considered predators if one of them is over 18 and the other is not, and the older one might have to register as a sex offender for LIFE.

    Your guide is invaluable these days. We must get rid of the bullies!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on Wanda Adams Fischer and commented:

    Thank you for this, Nonnie. Hope everyone will learn something from this!


  4. Colleen, thanks for stopping by and we are looking forward to that book! Good luck writing it!


  5. I found your site via Kathryn’s blog tour, interestingly on the same night I posted about my speech to my school board about being bullied into disability and out of a job. I will be focusing on writing a book about my experience being bullied so that kids can see the need to put aside the shame of being attacked and stand up for themselves. Thank you for being such a strong activist against this senseless cruelty.


  6. 1createblogs

    Very well written post.


  7. I agree that the internet in general has made it much easier to bully. Parents need to know what their children are engaging in both online and any where else they happen to be. But this also needs to start when they are very young. They need to be taught that treating others this way is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.


  8. Kim

    If every parent did their job of holding their kids accountable for their wrong doing, this issues would not be a problem. We have unqualified people raising children and these children are not getting proper training.


    • Kim, hence all of the Facebook punishments we’re seeing these days, which I am glad is being put out there. I applaud those parents. Too many parents who pretend as if their kids are angelic, when they are so far from that. We need to open our eyes to what some of our kids really are. And from your comment, I can tell what kind of parent you are. Thank you so much! Keep doing what you do!


  9. Teri, I am so glad you stopped by but I am happier that you are one who actually does something about it when you see it. Another problem is adults don’t get involved. You hear “they’re just kids, they’ll work it out,” but there is a clear difference between situations that occur just because THEY ARE KIDS as opposed to those that are clearly of a bullying nature. Thank you for being on the right side of this issue, and I agree with you in that there are very many parents who are bullies, and their kids are learning that exact poor behavior. I had a neighbor once who’s niece had been held down by 3 girls while at school, while another girl took a razor and slashed her face from her ear to her nose, all because they said the girl thought she was “cute”. This child required 51 stitches in her face and almost lost her eye. My neighbor at the time said that when her sister went to the home of the child who actually used the razor to cut her niece, the mom of the “perp” said “that’s just kid stuff and I don’t get involved in kid stuff.” ( I would have commenced to whipping that mom right on her property. I’m sorry, but that’s just me). I was infuriated hearing this coming from A MOM. But this is the kind of stuff that saddens me. This is the world that I will one day have to leave my babies in, and so this is why I work so hard to change things for the better. By the way, the child who was cut in her face, is still BEAUTIFUL, even with her scar.


  10. I agree, Nonnie! As a high school teacher, I see the problems of bullies all the time and step in when I see it. It doesn’t take much to help: a kind word to the victim, a stern glance to the offender, or even a “That’s not how we treat people here.” Any little bit can make a difference. Parents play a key role in learned behavior. You are spot on in targeting parents to stop the bullies. (Too bad some parents like being the bully.)
    Have a blessed day!



  1. I WILL HELP YOU “SELL YOUR BOOK!” | Watch Nonnie Write!

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