Do YOU Know What’s Wrong With YOU? #RRBC

big eyed confused dog

No, I don’t mean physically, like, maybe you walk with a limp, or your ears are too pointy, or your eyes are crossed or bulging like my friend above.  I mean “Do you know what’s WRONG with you?”  “Do you know YOUR issues?”

We live in a very judgmental world and when I say we, I mean that, at times I find myself (unwillingly) being heavily involved in that world.  We are so quick to point out what’s wrong with others, but, can never admit what’s really wrong with ourselves.  So, today I’m opening up this forum for us all to freely admit and answer the question that we all need to be able to answer:  “WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME? WHAT ARE MY ISSUES?”

I’m starting this off by sharing with you those things that I know are wrong with me and maybe, just maybe, it will give you the freedom to share your issues, as well:

*I’m a little too hard on people at times.  Although I like to pride myself on being able to “read” people effectively, there are those times that I wish I wasn’t so harsh.  I’m also thankful that my daughters didn’t take after me in this regards.  They are more willing to give the benefit of the doubt than I have ever been, and they are definitely “softer” in their dealings with others;

*I’m a worry-wart.  The world that we live in has me so afraid at times of what could happen to my daughters, that I try to keep them as close to me as possible.  Yes, I know that before they were born their lives were already mapped out, the day they’d enter this world and the day they’d leave it.  I know that in my mind, but my heart won’t allow me to believe that I can’t keep them safe when they’re near to me;

*I’m not that trusting.  If I have found myself trusting you, oh my!  You have to be the creme de la creme of the human race.  I’ve been burned too many times by trusting the wrong people, and although I’m this huge people person and I hear how “personable and funny, loving and kind” I am, inside…I’m still holding you at bay until I feel extremely comfortable about your motives;

*I did mention judgmental above, didn’t I?  Yes, another huge problem that I have.  Recently, John Fioravanti shared Morning Inspiration with the governing board at RRBC that truly resonated with me, and this is what it said:

Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
 
~ Miguel Angel Ruiz

I must admit that for the most part, this is how I live my life.  I would like to think that I am impeccable with my words as I tend to stop and think before I speak or write; I’d like to think that I speak with integrity….it’s extremely important to me and one of the most important lessons I’ve passed on to my daughters;  I ALWAYS say what I mean and I ALWAYS mean what I say (ever heard of the book SUGARCOATIN’ IS FOR CANDY & PACIFYIN’ IS FOR KIDS?); Sugarcoatin CoverNow, the part that says, “Avoid using the word to speak against yourself…” I need to stew on this a bit.  Let me be perfectly honest here…I love me some me!  I truly do!  I think I’m almost the best thing since ham sandwiches, but, even in my saying all that, I DO KNOW ME BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE KNOWS ME.  So, when I introduce you to all the wrongs of me, as I’ve done above, that is not me speaking against myself, that is me OWNING WHO I AM

Too many of us walk around with this imaginary halo over our heads, as if we’re almost angelic and walking on clouds, yet, we live our lives as if we are the devil’s spawn. Pretentious, that’s the word I must use here…too many of us are pretentious.  Pretending to be who and what we are not.   I can own my good and I can just as equally own my bad.  As a matter of fact, when I meet people for the first time, I tell them I’m a witch.  That means, if I start at the bottom, the only place for me to go is up, in their eyes.  I don’t pretend to be some Angel….because I am far from it (and so are some of you…you know who you are).

I’m going to wrap this up now, but why don’t you share with us “What’s wrong with you? What are your issues?”  And, please don’t pretend as if you don’t have any, we all do.  Remember, that you coming forth sharing your issues, just might be the nudge someone else needs to feel comfortable in sharing theirs.  You can’t fix your problems or your issues,  if you don’t first acknowledge that you have any.  And hey, we don’t need to know that you never feed your kids before 8pm because you’re always running behind on everything.  That’s not what’s wrong with you…that just means you need to work on your time management skills.

Now, tell us…deep, deep down…WHAT’S REALLY WRONG WITH YOU?

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32 Comments

  1. Reblogged this on paizic.

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  2. Well, I’ll try. I tend to not want to look at my real issues and that could be construed to be a fault. I’m anxiety driven (doesn’t feel good) I procrastinate–still working on that book from ’95, I’m impatient with people who need patience. (I’m working on that one) I still don’t REALLY know what I want to be when I grow up (if I ever grow up) and I rush through things that need care. I can also get snappy and judgmental. (don’t like that about myself, either) That’s all I can think of off the top of my head. I’m sure there’s much more. pg

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  3. Oh? I thought what I listed was pretty bad. I may be too much of a people pleaser and not honest with people because I’d rather bite off my own tongue than hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally or intentionally. I don’t yell at people unless I’m alone in my car and they’re going too slow (way under the speed limit) and that drives me crazy. I don’t get too close to people because I’ve been hurt too many times, so I really don’t have any friends. My best friends are online. I have great neighbors who I hold at arms length because I don’t have time for them and for the other reasons mentioned above. I hate visitors to show up unannounced and take away from my me time. I may be kind to a fault. I’m hard to anger and I’m fast to get over it. I can only remember losing my temper twice in my life. Once with a friend and once with my husband who used to have what I call temper tantrums like his mom. Make that 3 times, I went off on his mom once too. When that happens, I feel like my head will explode. Needless to say, after I went off, he no longer has those. Once I get it out, I’m done with it and forget it that fast. I don’t hold grudges–can’t remember to do that. I feel invisible sometimes but not sure where that comes from but I believe it is because I’m so quiet most of the time. I’m a loner. I’m totally different than I used to be. When I was younger, I never met a stranger. I’m like this online but not in person. I rarely commit to a yes or no; it’s normally maybe, I think, I believe, etc. I used to volunteer too much and never got any of my own stuff done–I don’t do this anymore.

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  4. Hmmm! Well, having grown up with a step-father who spent a lot of time telling me every day all that was wrong with me, a mother and a sister who continued the tradition when he died, I should know by now!
    I have had to work very, very hard to build up my self esteem, so, no, Nonnie, I am NOT going to tell you what’s wrong with me. I am going to continue to focus on what’s right and what’s good about myself.
    One of those things is that I am honest with myself and I try my hardest to be the best version of me that I can be every day in every way.
    I don’t strive for perfection, because I know that is beyond me, but I do my best.

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    • Ci, thanks for stopping by and sharing. I’m so sorry that you had that experience as a child but in keeping with the theme of this post, it’s still good to KNOW what is wrong with ourselves, so I’m going to surmise that what your issue is, is that you were beat down mentally so much as a child that it has now triggered and turned on a defense mechanism in your adulthood, which you use to build yourself up, thereby, not being willing to acknowledge what is wrong with you. Because, as I mentioned in the post, whether we like it or not, whether we are willing to “own” it or not, there is something wrong with all of us. If there wasn’t, then we’d be PERFECT, right? The first step to healing that which is wrong, is acknowledging it.

      Take care, Ci. I wish you much success on that journey of self-esteem building!

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  5. Shirley Harris-Slaughter

    I will admit that I am too honest to a fault. Nobody really wants you to be really honest because it might not be something they want to hear. But I’m not a liar and I do not feel comfortable telling lies. I don’t get folks who can make stuff up and keep a straight face. I also looked within and discovered that I can also be too opinionated. I know everything or at least I’ve convinced myself of that. I can be a little too sensitive and take things a little too personal sometimes. I’m sure I have other faults but I do try to work on the ones I am aware of. I try not to take life too seriously.

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  6. Everything that’s wrong with me, after brief introspection, goes back to me being selfish. I try to consider myself as and be seen as a giver, helper, humble- but the hard truth is that I’m only that way when it’s convenient for ME. Being lazy about housework, procrastinating, not following through on things, and even being afraid to show the real me to strangers is all about me in the end and what I want. Even arguments with my DH go back to this.
    SO, I am determined now to actually get out of “me town” and find a way to truly be a more selfless person even when it’s inconvenient for me.

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    • Rochelle, I love your truths!!!! Speak to us!!!! Yes, now if you can own that “ugly” then so many more of us can own more of our ugly! Thank you so much, Rochelle! I was so delighted to see your open and very honest response. No one knows you better than you, so who better to tell the world about all that is wrong with you, than you. I LOVE IT!!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This is a very useful post to stimulate reflection. I know I have as many faults as anybody. No-one is perfect. I suspect what is really wrong with me is an inability or unwillingness to identify core faults and root them out. It is easier to ignore them and work around them when it becomes necessary.

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  8. Beth Hale

    Oh, goodness. I have too many faults to name. Ha. I know I’m too quick to judge people. I have a temper. I have low tolerance for stupidity. I speak my mind even when I probably shouldn’t. And it’s been said that I lack tact. (I say I just refuse to sugar coat anything.)

    Well, now that we’ve established that I’m not a very nice person, I’m going to take a nap before its time to work tonight. (That may be where some of this comes from. Eleven years in the 911 dispatch chair helps someone distinguish between truth and fiction pretty well.)

    Thanks for sharing this post. It always helps to take a step back and observe yourself to see if you can “fix” something.

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  9. Like the rest of you have said, I don’t know where to begin. Much like John & Bethany I consider myself a work in progress and find it easier to admit my faults the older I get. I tend to be a people pleaser & as a result am not as honest as I should be. Fear of acceptance from others kept me from speaking truth or putting up boundaries. I’m much stronger than I used to be as God has put me in situations where I need to stand up for myself or my family regardless of whose feelings I may hurt or at the risk of losing friends. I’m still working on this. As a writer, this tends to hinder my progress. The fear of criticism works against me at times. I’m trying very hard to be myself and decide what I can learn from criticism and what to let roll of of my back. Great post Nonnie!

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  10. Thought provoking post. I don’t know what’s wrong with me? How much space do I have to list? I know I’m judgmental, I hold onto grudges (I really don’t want to). Hell, I wrote an entire book about my dysfunctional family after 30 years of putting up with their insane, cruel behavior. And, I feel pretty good about that! And that’s just the beginning of the list!

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    • Debby, I want to read that book! What’s the title??? LOL

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      • Cute, Nonnie, thanks. The book “Tales From the Family Crypt” is about a family gone way amok. Deceit, deception, dastardly behavior and that’s just the Prologue! Yes, it’s true and yes it’s about my family and my husband’s and yes, some accused me of writing it to give into my grudges and maybe a bit I did. Hey, I did say I hold grudges, right? But, honestly, I thought other people dealing with dysfunctional family might be able to avoid some of our same mistakes and live happier lives. So far, I’ve heard from readers who can relate and find it fascinating, if not helpful. But, the book about all that’s wrong with me? I’m sure my family members would agree, that’s going to have to be a series! (They started by writing Amazon reviews calling me Hitler!)

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  11. Maureen K. Howard

    Let me tell you… I start with these words because what is wrong with me is largely my inability or lack of desire to do just that.
    I recently went through a process of discovering my “One Word” for the year–the one word that would pop up and stare me down when I try to take the easy way out. The word had to come from within my soul, not from my own desire. My one word was revealed to me, and it is COMMUNICATE. I am working on trying to bite the bullet and tell people how I really feel when I’d rather run and hide, when I’d rather say I’m fine, when I’d rather remain silent or say I agree with something when I don’t. I am really good at doing all of the above. I’ve had a lot of practice. It’s a long process and I have a long way to go.
    John Fioravanti, you have no idea how close I came to being a jerk and not doing the Rave Review Author Spotlight Radio Interview with you. That experience threw me on the floor and stomped on my comfort zone, and I thank you for being so gracious and helping take a baby step in the direction of my word. So for me, learning to communicate in every area of my life is my big job for the next ten months.
    So if I ignore something I need to address, please send me a virtual slap and attach the word communicate to it. I’ll get back to you. Thank you for this post Nonnie.

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    • Thank you, Maureen, glad I could help. The interview turned out well because you were a great guest despite the circumstances! Kudos to you!

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  12. I love each and every poster here, but I must admit, some of these responses were “true cop outs.” We have to be honest about what’s “really” wrong with us…not that we overcook the peas, or, we leave dirty laundry sitting around too long…that’s not what this is about. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? What are your short-comings inside? Deep down…what do you need to work on that will make you a better person? And I must say, getting dinner on the table earlier than you usually do is not the kind of response we’re looking for. It’s time for us to be honest about ourselves. I mean, are you nasty to the door greeter at Walmart who is 65 yrs old and hard of hearing? Does your spouse enjoy it when you’re asleep and not “yapping” about something? C’mon people…time for us to get “real” about who, and what we really are.

    Thanks to all for stopping by and sharing, even though some of us need to return and come a little cleaner…LOL!

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  13. Oh wow, like John Howell, too many things to list. But I can start off with #1 I’m an impatient driver because of #2 I’m always running late–always late for work (luckily I usually stay late and boss doesn’t mind too much), #3 I procrastinate too much and don’t get as much writing done as I need to, #4 I’m lazy when it comes to cleaning, #5 I have a one-track, mind (both good and bad)–good that I can get what I need to get done no matter what is going on around me and bad because I tend to ignore people around me, #6 I tend to say/type more than I should, and for the rest I will say etc.

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  14. My, my, my… what’s wrong with me? I’m a procrastinator. I’m going to be a great writer—when I finish my books. I’m going to win the lottery—when I buy a ticket. I’ll stop now before I embarrass myself. Loved this!

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  15. I love this, Nonnie. As I grow older, I’m learning that it is easier and easier to figure out what is wrong with me! I could go on all day, but here are a few things I have been acutely aware of lately:
    * I’m a perfectionist. While that obviously has some good stuff to go along with it, I am seeing it as more and more of a problem lately. My standards for myself just aren’t realistic at times, and I end up beating myself up for going a perfectly good job, because it wasn’t good enough – by MY standards.
    * I’m not very patient AT ALL. I have REALLY been struggling with this one lately.
    * Impatience leads to frustration all too often for me. This morning I was studying Galatians 6:9 – “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” While I rarely “give up,” I do get impatient and frustrated, rather than focusing on the harvest which is being prepared by the work along the way.

    Just a few things…I could go on forever! Thank you for your writing today. It really impacted me!

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  16. Where do I begin Nonnie, where do I begin? Just like you, I do not trust peoples. I too have been burned too many times, that I have come to mistrust people, even when they have good intentions, but I will never know that.

    I tend to speak before I think, and that has caused me a lot of problems, even if what I say is true, but talking before I think doesn’t allow me to fine tune my words, so I am left with apologizing later.

    I like to make fun of myself, but I don’t like people making fun of me. When they do, I go for the killing, and in the end, as usual, I look for way of making up for it, especially if I have done some harm with my words. The tongue you know, can kill.

    I don’t like people who throw their achievements to my face. When they do, I tend to give them a list of mine. That is not humility, especially as I pride myself as being humble.

    I don’t flaunt my faith. I just want to be left alone to live it as I chose, talk about it if I want. I think I am free to do that, and no one has the right to attack me, or push their way of beliefs to my face. i will fight and probably die to defend my faith if it comes to that.

    Do I go on? I don’t think so. All I know is that we humans are full of it, and our wrong doings always come back to bite us.

    Thank you Nonnie for pushing the boundaries with this.

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    • You are very brave, Joy, for sharing these things – I know it isn’t easy. I’ve always respected you, but never as much as I do right now! Thank you!!!

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    • Joy, I too, found it very brave of you to admit your failings. This is what I mean when I ask “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” These are the kinds of responses we need to share. It’s time to start OWNING OUR STUFF.

      Thank you, Joy!

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  17. Oh boy – where do I begin… I’m VERY good at putting off what I’m not interested in doing – like the housework, or the ‘little’ vital chores that need doing regularly. Too often I remain silent when I should speak out – that’s something I’m trying to work on more these days, as I’ve come to realise this isn’t a healthy way to live. Running on from that I ‘bottle’ emotions up far too much – I don’t give of myself openly that often, even with people who deserve my attention.
    And I REALLY ought to eat more veggies!

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  18. Always good to look in the mirror and ask the question. “What is wrong with me anyway?” There isn’t enough space here to list and spell them all out so I’ll just give a few words for a few. Lack detail orientation, impatient, judgemental, and hate yellow squash.

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    • John H, I’m with you on the yellow squash thing! Judgmental, I’ve already owned up to…impatient…I’m sure somewhere in print I’ve owned that one, as well.

      Thanks for sharing!

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      • Sounds like we share some of the same traits. (always good to have company) 🙂

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    • John!! My dear friend! You’re older than dirt… and that’s all you got??? You need to be Canonized by Pope Francis… St. John of the Hosers!! LOL

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      • I said there was not a enough space for them all. so I just picked a few. 🙂

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      • Oh by the way I knew Dirt’s father. Went to school with him.

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  19. I tend to think of myself as a work in progress… oh how I long for the days of my youth when… I knew EVERYTHING!!! I have come to know myself fairly well, and I know that I have some issues that I admit to and wish I didn’t have:
    – I have a lousy temper. As a child it manifested itself in violent behaviour. Now, I do damage with hurtful words and yelling. Neither is pretty.
    – I fear failure more than anything else and that has caused me to avoid taking chances by seizing a new opportunity. I’ve been working on this a lot recently.
    – I’m selfish. I really don’t like that about myself. I could be doing so much more for others.
    – I’m not good at self-denial.

    I know I could go on, but I’ll leave the rest of my dirty laundry in the hamper! Now I have four things that I’ve owned publicly and need to work on!

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    • John, how brave of you! Not many can be as brave, as open and as honest as you have been in sharing WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU! Kudos to you for stepping out on that limb, knowing that you’re not going to fall because you’re not alone in “your issues.” We all have them and today is the day that WE OWN THEM!

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing. This was so awe-inspiring!

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