If I Told You A Secret… #RRBC #Trust #Loyalty

“The only people I owe my Loyalty to, are those that never made me question theirs.”

~ Anonymous

Here at WATCH NONNIE WRITE! I try to blog about life issues, for the most part.  Yes, you may happen upon other topics important to me such as writing (and writing well, I might add), etc., but in my little corner of the world, I want you to drop by to see what my offering is, and then I want you to walk away changed…and hopefully, for the  better.  If not changed, then deep in thought over what I’ve shared.

By now, all who know me online and off, should be keenly aware of how big Loyalty is to me.  It’s not very often that you find people who stand steadfastly in your corner, right or wrong, until the very end.  If you are blessed to find such a person, hold on to them, and never let them go.

My position as head of RAVE REVIEWS BOOK CLUB, as well as my position in society in my offline world, does not afford me the luxury to trust all who come before me.  I tend to keep people at a safe distance, feeling them out, listening to their words, but more importantly, paying close attention to their actions.  Many of you have heard me often say that “I’m not one of those people that you can tell just anything to.”  No, I’m one who questions 95% of everything. (So please, be careful when you decide to throw me a fib-bone).

In raising two (almost) perfect daughters, one of the first things I taught them and continually teach, is to question everything.  My second DD (darling daughter) would often ask:  “Mommy, may I ask you something?” …and my response was always, “You can ask Mommy anything.”  I then took it a bit farther and would say, “Never be afraid to ask questions where there is plenty of room for answers.  Don’t  be so accepting of all that people try to feed you.”  Many parents fail in this arena because they model for their children that to accept anything that’s fed to us, is A-OK.  In my world, nothing could be farther from the truth.

Well, it seems I’m kinda sorta straying from my topic of Loyalty…my apologies, so let me get back on track.  I try to surround myself with people who seem interesting to me, people who might have exhibited extreme kindnesses, and definitely people who I find to be selfless and supportive of others.  In that, I never know if I’m going to get what I command around me, and that is Loyalty at all times.  Sometimes I’ve hit home runs, but sadly, many times, not. (Thank God for my gift of seeing people for who they really are, most often, before they actually reveal their true selves to me).  But, I must admit, I have been duped a time or two.

Loyalty is not a word, it’s a way of life, I’ve heard it said.  Yet, it’s so true, as it is exactly how I live my life.  I, personally, am loyal to a fault…when I’m in your corner, you know that I’m in your corner, and the protection of my love and my wrath upon all who might seek to harm you, is your shield.  Sadly, I can count on my one hand those who I have received this kind of loyalty from in return.  But, that is the world we live in.

The purpose of this message today is to encourage you to look deep inside yourself to determine which you are:  are you Loyal or are you Disloyal?  Are you the person who will defend your friend, no matter what?  Or, are you the kind who gets upset with your friend and then runs off to spew all the secrets they’ve ever confided in you to anyone who will listen?

If you find that Loyalty is a way of life for you, Kudos to you for choosing that path, but, if you know that you have failed in the Loyalty department and you find yourself swinging in whatever direction the wind is blowing at the moment, work on yourself a little harder.  Try and figure out why you are a disloyal person and then…CHANGE. You can, if it’s truly what you want to do.

If this is something new for you, try being loyal to someone for a change, it’s a different kind of feeling, I assure you. (And since we’re on the subject,  for those of you who think that I might be questioning your Loyalty, well, you’re probably right).

  I’d love to hear your thoughts on your position of Loyalty versus disloyalty, in the comments section below.  Thanks for dropping by, and thanks bunches for sharing!

“I reward Loyalty with Loyalty and Dis-Loyalty with Distance.”

~ Anonymous

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7 Comments

  1. Loyalty is similar to sacrificial love. You may not get anything in return except strife.

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  2. Shirley Harris-Slaughter

    I believe that a loyal person is someone you can count on through thick and thin. The good times and the bad times. You don’t always have to connect with them but you know they have your back and you have theirs. They are honest at all times. If you care about someone you don’t have to lie to them and you trust them not to lie to you. You can feel the spirit of a true friend. You will know without speaking to that person, whether they are genuine or not. Body language speaks louder than words. Action speaks louder than words as well. That is loyalty to me.

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  3. Kim

    I never used the world loyal when describing myself. I think of myself as selfless, void of hating on others, and I get genuinely excited for others accomplishments and KNOW that I can achieve the same if I put my mind to it. I am a cheerleader for others knowing that we ALL need support at times. I like to think of myself as that positive person that will try and find the good in every situation. I can NOT hold a grudge and thought that was a fault. As I grow I have found that to be a good thing because I can’t afford to carry that weight on my shoulders. Am I loyal, I would say so but is it what I think of myself that matters or how others PERCEIVE me to be. Perception is a whole other beast when dealing with others and their views. I read in a book recently that if you sat down in a movie theater and watch a movie of yourself, from your perception, and then stepped into the movie theater of your loved one’s perception, the you that’s on the screen may seem like a stranger because your viewing yourself from another’s perspective. I think it all boils down to this, set a stand for yourself and live consistently from that place and whatever other’s perceive of you has nothing to do with you because their view and perception comes from rules that they’ve created and are judging you by.

    I say all of that to say, yes I am loyal. I genuinely love people and LOVE seeing people win, succeed and grow.

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  4. You nailed it when you said loyalty is demonstrated through actions, not words. I attended a benefit yesterday for an amazing Texas songwriter friend who had a horrific car wreck and the love and yes, “loyalty” I witnessed made my heart very happy.

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  5. Loyalty can be a double edged sword. Say you are loyal to someone who doesn’t deserve it. Loyalty causes you to continue to be “sucked in”, when self-preservation tells you to cut ties and run. I am loyal, and I also strive to remain in integrity. If I have cpncerns or need to address something, I will do so with the correct party only. Life is too short to spend pretending, or to spend talking behind people’s backs.

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  6. You know what I say to myself, Nonnie? The day I feel afraid of asking questions about happenings before me, is the day I distance myself from those happenings. I agree with you about asking questions, especially, if we do not understand. Questions if answered, explain things that are not clear to us, save us from interpreting things wrongly. Please ask. I will always explain. 🙂
    Loyalty is a very desirable quality to have, but alas! in the world of today, people seem to only look out for themselves. It is also something that should be cultivated, and nurtured. I heard about the Japanese car company that made every worker in the company a share holder, that way they all know they are protecting their own thing.

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  7. Loyalty is something to glory in when you find it and to lament when it’s disappointed – the bit about distance in the last quote is, to me, initially about loss and disillusionment. However, if you lose something that’s let you down, then the solution is right at hand, because something that wasn’t worth the keeping is really no loss.at all. Loyalty is precious, but the silver lining of losing it is you’re better off without that person 😉

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