Day #20 of #RRBC’s #ADayInMyLife 30-Day #Blogging Challenge! Come on along! @NonnieJules @RRBC_Org @RRBC_RWISA @Tweets4RWISA #Truth
Saturday, January 21, 2023
Hello, Friends!
Welcome to another Nonnie Mull-Over Moment! Ever heard of that? Well, that’s when Nonnie gets a thought in her head that she can’t shake until she’s mulled over it, and made sense of it.
I didn’t sleep well last night, but, that should not have surprised me, because I didn’t rest well enough to even fall asleep. I tossed and I turned while my hubby massaged my back and ran his fingers through my hair. I’m a little puppy when someone runs their fingers through my hair, by the way.
After I couldn’t fall asleep, even as my beautiful hair massage continued, I decided to just get up. Slipping on my robe and my slippers, I went into my writing room and laid back on my chaise. It’s so relaxing, it helps me clear the noise from my head so that I can focus on one thought that’s really important to me at that time.
While trying to clear my mind of all thoughts, one popped into my head!
There are always three sides to every story: Yours… Mine… and the truth (what actually happened.)
As I pondered this adage, I felt myself becoming more and more annoyed as my nose began to crinkle – the harder I thought about it, the more I realized I had a huge problem with it.
You see, I often see quotes, sayings, and adages like the one above that make absolutely no sense at all, yet, you find so many people following them, repeating them, and sadly, trying to live them.
Let’s break this one down and then we will worry about the others later.
Now, the problem I have with the one above, is that there isn’t ALWAYS three sides to every story. Sometimes, there is only the truth – and that truth is probably coming from one of the two involved parties.
You see, if we are to believe this saying, that would mean that both of the parties involved would have to be lying, and I’m just not willing to accept that label if I am one of those in the party, and I know my version of the events are true. Does that make sense? I mean, if you knew that you were telling the truth in a situation, and for sure the other party was lying, would you allow this saying to be applied to you?
So, what I’d like to see is… us (the world) taking those adages and quotes and sayings that have been floating around for years, clogging up our thought-waves and becoming our beliefs, and analyze them before we go repeating them, quoting them, and living them, because sometimes the authors of these sayings, quotes, adages, etc. only made them up to see how many of you would fall for them.
“Hey, Jerry, let’s see how many fools we can get to walk around repeating this crap today!”
Stop accepting everything you hear and read as profound wisdom that you should allow to seep into your spirit.
Some of it is really just crap.
Now take a minute and mull over that.
Thanks for stepping into another Nonnie Mull-over Moment!
Until next time…
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Nonnie, its so easy to be lulled into what you think might be the truth. Most of the time we don’t think about it. We just respond to it. I have said that “I don’t understand what you are saying, so I will leave my comments to myself.” So, some of the time, I really try to understand what is being said, then I will respond. Thanks for the thoughtful comment.
Hi Nonnie! There’s nothing wrong with questioning. The older I get, the more I find myself pausing and analyzing something I read or hear. Good to keep the critical thinking skills honed, eh? : )
Best wishes,
Donna M. Atwood
D. M. Atwood
https://www.dmatwood.com
Most of the adages I read on Facebook and Twitter are indeed silly. But once in a while, a saying hits you in the gut, and you’ve found the words you’ve been searching for to solve your problem or explain your pain.
Nonnie, Yeah, I’m not crazy about the old adage you quoted. Doesn’t make a ton of sense because the truth could actually be one of the “sides.” But, if neither side is the truth, the adage would apply. Like Yvette, I have so many “momisms” that I think are just old, tired ideas that people don’t bother to question. Questioning is good, so let’s always question!
Hi, Maura Beth! Exactly! You hit the nail on the head – if neither side is being honest, THEN that adage would apply!
I think sometimes the way people perceive the truth is what gets in the way, Nonnie. Everyone brings his/her own way of seeing what happens to his/her reality, and that’s why there may be three sides to every story. When volunteering in the elementary grades, I see this quite often. One student interprets another’s “askance” look as total hatred while the one giving that glance might be thinking, “What’s different about her today? Does she have new glasses? A New haircut?” This soon blows up into something else and the teacher just sees a ruckus in the classroom. As an outside impartial observer, I can often see the real truth evolving, but the teacher may simply see two children “not making good choices” ( phrase I often hear in elementary school), and two children will be punished when something could have been easily solved. Take that up to the adult level and it gets even messier. People often think that telling the truth will hurt someone’s feelings, so they leave out vital facts to protect the other person. The other person then gets hurt because they need to know the facts. Life gets so messy sometimes. I guess that’s why soap operas are so popular on TV!
Hi, Wanda! Please see my response to PTL’s comment. It gives a great example of that which I reference in regards to the adage.
Thanks for dropping by!
Reblogged this on Ask The Good Mommy and commented:
Hi, friends! A little something for you to “mull over.”
Hi, Nonnie. As I read that quote, I have the same reaction to it as Yvette does. It truly is about perception. In an argument, I’m always right, and I always speak the truth. The other party feels the same way, that they are right. Both of us are most likely seeing only part of the whole picture, and interpreting what we see from our own bias. I’ve heard the term, “your truth,” which, to me, means your truth may not be the same as my truth. If that’s the case, then what is the unbiased truth?
Blessings,
Patty
Hi, Patty! I’ve left a detailed response under Yvette’s comment below. The matter at had is that everyone doesn’t speak the truth, and in my opinion, a liar clearly knows when he/she is lying. No doubt about that. I am not speaking of this as individuals viewing something under different lenses… where that might be the case. I am speaking from the standpoint of someone lying, they KNOW that they are lying… and someone else is telling the truth. In that scenario, there are no three sides to the story. There is the person who is being truthful in their recanting of it, and the person who is lying, and both parties in the situation know that the person is lying.
Here’s an example of what I reference:
Bobby and Cindy are outside playing ball.
Bobby throws ball and breaks someone’s car window.
Cindy, of course, sees that Bobby has broken someone’s car window.
Adult comes out and asks, what happened.
Bobby shrugs his shoulders and says, “I don’t know.”
Cindy points to Bobby, and says, “He threw the ball and broke the window.”
Bobby says, “No, I didn’t.”
There are no three sides to this story. There is only the truth and it comes from one of the two parties involved. This is the kind of situation I reference in regards to the adage of there ALWAYS being three sides to every story. That is simply not true.
But, I think your take on this, since you mention that you had the same reaction as Yvette, would lean toward another kind of situation, which I mention below her comment.
Thanks for chiming in with your thoughts, Patty!
What a lively discussion!
Thanks for clarifying your point, Nonnie. Taken in the context of a truth versus a lie, then I agree that there is no third possibility and the adage would be false.
However, taken in the context of differences of perception regarding something that occurred, then it could be true. Two witnesses to a crime might remember it in very different ways. It’s why eyewitness accounts are not the most reliable. (for examples, see https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/do-the-eyes-have-it/)
Under any circumstances, a lie is a lie. I agree with you on that.
Blessings!
Patty
Thanks for sharing the article, Patty! I was definitely coming at it from the stand point of an outright lie… not perception.
🙂
Hi, Nonnie,
I usually am very careful about what I retweet and especially in quotes.
I haven’t seen that quote on the internet, but if I had, I wouldn’t have retweeted it.
Shalom aleichem
Hi, Pat! Good for you! Mindless retweeting has been the death of many.
Oh, my oh my,Nonnie, little wonder you cannot sleep.I too am a dreadful sleeper with thoughts running around continuously.Also in considerable discomfort that wakes me every night with my neck and shoulder problem. Someone once told me you have to close the curtains as if at the show finish and then settle to relax and sleep. Also I tell myself off. That also helps, especially if its a song running the gauntlet of my mind !I worry about everything, and always have. I try so hard to make sure I don’t upset or offend anyone, and believe avidly to treat others as I wish to be treated.And believe that telling the truth is always the best policy. Lying will get you in the end.
Hi, Joy! Let’s work on our poor sleep habits in the new year, and vow to get better at that which renews us through and through!
Thanks for dropping by!
This is actually a quote I really like, Nonnie. For me, though, it isn’t really about truth but about perception. Several people can see the same event happen but experience it through a very different lens based on their mood, beliefs, background, etc. When reading a novel, many times characters perceive some event a certain way and only the reader can see how they misinterpreted it.
I’ve used this quote many times when working with students to flush out why they are so mad at each other. Each one tells his/her story as he/she saw it happening. Then, we discuss what took place and why they each perceived it differently. It has helped many times to squash arguments and to mend hurt feelings.
But, yes, you are right that there are sayings out there that we should leave in the past. The other day, my sister and I were talking and she said something to me that ended with “by the skin of our teeth.” My niece rolled her eyes and said, “What does that even mean?”
My sister and I looked at each other and just started laughing. It’s something my mom used to say and we repeat it with the meaning she placed upon it even though the phrase itself is ridiculous. My sister and I are working on retiring those momisms. 😉
Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
Hi, Yvette! Several people can see the same event happen and all view it through several different lenses. That is not what I speak of. I speak in the situation where someone is CLEARLY lying and someone is telling the truth – in that instance, both individuals know that one is lying. The person who witnesses the lie, knows that the other person is a liar. The person who is lying, knows that he/she is lying but tries to pass the lie off as truth. In such situations, there are no 3 sides – there is only the truth – and one person stands on that side.
In the way that you reference it above as how you use it dealing with students, in my view, that’s not the same thing that I speak of in regards to this adage. What you reference, per your statements above, are issues where individuals are upset with one another about something – not necessarily being a truth or lie scenario. I have mentored hundreds of young girls, and in situations like this, of course, there will be “TWO” sides as to how the situation was viewed. Say for example, they were friends but now are no longer friends. Yes, they will have two sides as to why they’re no longer friends – in that situation, there doesn’t have to be a “truth.” Let’s say one friend is upset because the other friend has a new boyfriend and doesn’t spend enough time with her anymore because of new boyfriend. The other friend is upset because the friend who is being ignored because of new boyfriend, doesn’t understand that new boyfriend might be more important at the time – because he’s new. Again, there are two sides there – neither of which have anything to do with the “truth,” but each other’s perception of the “situation.”
In my opinion, the situations you mentioned, would not apply to the adage I have referenced.
Thanks for the thoughtful argument you shared, Yvette! These make for the best discussions!